We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
