That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize