4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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