you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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