Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
