I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
