I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
