What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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