My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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