she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
