Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They took my balls.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
