I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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