he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
