she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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