i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize