Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
