He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
