I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Do vagina's smell?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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