did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
