I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He did a backflip because drugs
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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