I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
