i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I don't think brook has ever known best
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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