I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is Oprah even human
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
