with your own penis?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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