College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
