The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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