I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
