he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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