is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
