who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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