Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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