I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
you never un-have a 4some
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize