He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
