Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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