Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize