I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
