Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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