Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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