I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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