I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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