how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
