omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
