My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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