Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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