sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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