Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
