he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
