When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
