I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
