he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
vagina is talking i cant
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
