YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
