So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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