So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
