i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't turn off my feet"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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