Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
