i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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