There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
