Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
