Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
