My sheets look like a crime scene.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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