It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
