after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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