goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
