I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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