Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
